


A Therapeutic Relationship

by therumjournals



Series: Therapy AU [2]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-26
Updated: 2009-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-17 20:26:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumjournals/pseuds/therumjournals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard McCoy is still a terrible therapist.  Jim Kirk is still a terrible government employee (but not for long).</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Therapeutic Relationship

“Jim.”  
“Mmff.”  
“Jim, get up.”  
“Why?”  
“The alarm’s been going off for thirty minutes. Come on, you have to go to work.”  
“I quit.” Jim pulled a pillow over his head.  
“Jim.”  
“What?”  
“You say that every morning.”  
“So? It’s part of my routine.”  
“Your routine is annoying. Now get up.”  
“Did you make me coffee?”  
“Of course. It’s part of your routine.”  
Jim scowled as he got up and padded over to his closet.  
“Why are you even up?”  
“I have patients this morning.”  
“Why do you schedule patients for the morning? Aren’t you in charge? If I was a therapist, I wouldn’t speak to anyone until at least 12:30.”  
“And that, Jim, is one of the many, _many_ reasons that you will never be a therapist.”  
Jim was still standing in front of his closet, staring blearily at the row of white shirts, when McCoy came up behind him, reaching over his shoulder to hand him a cup of coffee.  
“Here. Drink this. Then maybe you can decide exactly which white shirt you’re gonna wear today.”  
Jim took a sip. “Oh blissful cup of hot joy, how wouldst I function without you?”  
“How come you never say that about me?”  
“I do. Except I usually refer to you as a blissful cup of hot sex.” He held up a shirt. “How ‘bout this one?”  
McCoy raised an eyebrow. “You’d look better without it.”  
“Bones, how many times do I have to tell you – that is not what casual Friday means. Speaking of which, what are we doing this weekend?”  
“Oh, ya know, I was thinking I would go and do something with…other people…”  
“Oh my God, Bones, you are so cute, you can’t even make up a convincing lie about not hanging out with me.”  
“Shut up.”  
“Well, I actually am doing something without you this weekend.”  
“You are?”  
“Yeah.” Jim finally set the coffee down and pulled on his shirt. “I’ve got an audition.”  
“An audition? For a play?”  
“No, for a porn. Yes, for a play.”  
“I didn’t know you were still into that.”  
“Yeah. I need more drama in my life.”  
“What kind of play is it?”  
“Some touring show. They’re looking for local actors. No idea what the plot is. Hopefully something angsty and gut-wrenching. My goal is to make you cry, basically.”  
“You do that every night.”  
“Hey, I can’t help it that you cry tears of joy every time I make you come.”  
“That’s not what I meant, jackass.” McCoy smacked him on the butt.  
Jim kissed him on the cheek. “Bye honey.”  
“Bye darlin’.”  
Jim stood in the doorway looking at him. “Why do you do this to me? You can’t possibly expect me to leave when you break out the accent.”  
McCoy pushed him out the door. “Get out of here. I’ll see you tonight.”

* * *

“Hey Bones.”  
“Hey. Why are you whispering?”  
“I’m in a meeting.”  
“You’re what?! You answered the phone in a meeting?”  
“It’s more like a conference.”  
“Why don’t you call me back.”  
“No, it’s okay. I’m under the table now.”  
“Good God, man, you are a terrible employee!”  
“I told you. Anyway, what’s up?”  
“Um… nothing. I was really just calling to say hi. Had a minute between patients.”  
“I am so fucking lucky.”  
“You are? Why?”  
“Just ‘cause. You. I love having a boyfriend who calls me just for the hell of it in the middle of the work day.”  
“Yeah, well, I love having a boyfriend who answers my phone calls in the middle of a meeting. I think.”  
“It’s more of a conference.”  
“Whatever. I’m gonna go now, Jim. Enjoy your conference.”  
“Okay. I think I’m gonna stay under the table for a while.”  
“You do that. I’ll see you tonight?”  
“’Course. Bye Bones.”  
“Bye Jim.”

* * *

Jim left work at lunch and went home. He found McCoy lying across the couch on his back reading a magazine. Jim dropped his bag and climbed onto the couch, straddling him.  
“Do you ever work?”  
“Do you?”  
“Well, no, but you already knew that. Anyway, how can I be expected to work when there’s a 95% chance that you’re going to be sprawled sexily on my couch at any given moment?”  
“I do have my own apartment, you know.”  
“Do you? Does it feel neglected?”  
McCoy set down the magazine and looked at him. "Do you want me to leave?"  
Jim squeezed his legs around McCoy's hips. "Never."  
"I'm thinking about quitting."  
"Quitting?! Why?"  
"You know."  
"Bones, you're not a bad therapist, shut up. Look, you're reading the American Journal of Psychology for crissakes, who does that? You'll sure as hell never find me reading The American Journal of Excel or Government Employees Today."  
"Jim, this journal is boring me to tears. You understand that, right? Being bored?”  
“How can you be bored? You get to sit around listening to crazy people talk to you all day!”  
“Well, for one thing, my favorite patient ditched me.”  
“Not so much ditched you, as suckered you in to giving him free therapy outside the office on a regular basis. And by therapy, I mean blowjobs.”  
McCoy rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but smile.  
“I don’t know, Jim. It’s just that…being a therapist used to be my life, and now…you are.”  
“That’s very touching, Bones, but I’m not letting you flatter me into condoning unemployment – at least for you.”  
“I did have another job in mind."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. Jim Kirk's personal assistant."  
Jim leaned over McCoy until their foreheads touched. "Know what I need more than a personal assistant?" They answered together, "A therapist."  
“Bones, maybe you need a therapist. Did you ever think of that? Do therapists ever have therapists? Or is that too meta?”  
“I have a therapist. His name is Dr. Scotty.”  
“Scotty… wait a minute, isn’t that the bartender at Delta Pub?”  
“Yeah. He listens to my problems while pouring me drinks. Best kind of therapist, if you ask me.”  
“Yeah. The rest are overrated.”  
McCoy shot Jim a glare. Jim held his hands up. “Kidding! Bones, come on, I’m sure everything will be fine.” He kissed him lightly on lips, pulling back before Bones could deepen the kiss. Jim planted a trail of kisses down his jawline and over his thin t-shirt, sliding his hands along McCoy’s sides, keeping the barrier of fabric between their skin. McCoy growled in frustration, gripped his shoulders with arms that were far too muscular and strong to belong to a therapist who spent his spare time reading psychology journals, and flipped Jim over so that he was the one lying on the couch being straddled. McCoy stripped his own shirt off, and unbuttoned Jim’s white shirt, revealing a tantalizing swath of bare skin. McCoy looked at Jim, splayed out underneath him, grinning and lifting his hips and being otherwise annoyingly attractive, and leaned down to capture his mouth in a kiss that was a little too rough for those perfect lips. He rocked their groins together once, then pulled back, leaving Jim straining for contact, but it was only to unzip Jim’s fly and tug his boxers down, then he was back, pressing himself against Jim’s bare cock. “Gonna get a stain on those pants if you don’t watch it.” McCoy took his advice and shrugged his own pants off, then leaned down against Jim, reached under the couch, and came up with the lube. Jim furrowed his brows. “Not where I normally keep that.”  
McCoy blushed. “How was I supposed to know you’d be home so early?”  
Jim smirked. “Horny bastard. Guess I can’t blame you, must be hard to think about me all day. Pun intended.”  
McCoy squeezed lube onto his hand, then wrapped his slick fingers around Jim’s cock. Jim gasped and thrust into his hand. “Jesus, Jim, calm down. Save some of that for me.” McCoy slid up and positioned himself above Jim’s rigid cock. Jim gripped himself as McCoy slid slowly onto him, groaning loudly and biting his lip so hard he thought he might draw blood.  
“Feels so fucking good, Bones.”  
“Yeah, you like that?” McCoy pushed himself up slightly, then back down, hard.  
“Oh my God. I hope you don’t expect this to last all day. Or all minute.”  
“Maybe you need a break. I can go grab a snack…”  
“Don’t even think about it.” Jim thrust with every ounce of motion he could muster from under the solid weight of McCoy’s body, driving home the point. Jim reached for McCoy’s cock, but McCoy slapped his hand away and grabbed his wrists, pressing them above his head with one hand. With the other hand, he grabbed his own cock, stroking himself as he moved faster over Jim.  
“Christ that’s hot,” Jim said in a strained voice, and then he was coming and so was Bones, splashing hotly against his stomach and chest.  
McCoy slid off of Jim, but stayed hovering above him, looking at him with a twinkle in his eye, before he leaned down to run his tongue up Jim’s messy chest. Jim raised his eyebrows in mild shock.  
“A little kinky for one o’clock in the afternoon…”  
“Want me to stop?” McCoy licked his lips.  
“Didn’t say I was complaining. Gotta get cleaned up somehow. Ya know. Before I go back to work.”  
McCoy scowled. “You are not.”  
“Kinda hot though, don’t you think? I’ll get up, button my shirt up over your come, go back to work like nothing happened. Then when someone asks me how my lunch was, I’ll tell them-“ He couldn’t finish because McCoy was kissing him, hard.  
“Well now you definitely can’t go back to work, because we need to do this again.” He pressed his erection against Jim’s leg to show that he wasn’t kidding.  
Jim met his eyes, pushed a hand into his messy hair, and grinned. “Horny bastard.”

* * *

McCoy was in the bathroom washing his face when the phone rang. He heard Jim jump out of bed to answer it, which was a miracle in and of itself. He heard Jim’s voice, a quiet murmur coming from the living room. Then the click of the phone and an unexpectedly loud “whooooooo!” He stepped out of the bathroom to see Jim with his arms raised in sign of victory.  
“Bones, you will never believe this!”  
“You do realize that you’re naked, right? And that you have no curtains?”  
“Bones, please do not interrupt my moment of joy with your prudish demands for modesty. Now, let’s try this again. Guess what!”  
“What?”  
“I got the part!”  
McCoy looked momentarily confused.  
“In the play, Bones, I got the part in the play!”  
Realization broke through and McCoy smiled. “Congratulations!” He swept Jim into an embrace, pressing his clothed body against Jim’s decidedly unclothed one and kissing him through his grin.  
When he let go, Jim took a step back and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, looking down.  
“So, there’s something else.”  
McCoy’s smile faded. “What?”  
“Well, they kinda told me that they were looking for a few actors to join them on tour. And, I kinda told them I’d be interested.”  
“What? What does that mean?”  
Jim bit his lip. “Well, they still have six months left of the tour.”  
“So wait, what does that mean, you’d go with them? You’ll leave Riverside?”  
“That does tend to be the definition of a tour.”  
McCoy’s eyes flashed anger. “Don’t resort to sarcasm as a defense technique, Jim.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were in your office.”  
“There you go again.” McCoy crossed the room and grabbed his bag from by the door.  
“Bones, stop, I want to talk to you about this…”  
“Look Jim, I just…I just need a little while to process this okay. I’ll call you.” McCoy didn’t look at him as he left, letting the door slam shut behind him.

* * *

It was late, almost 10 PM, and the lights were off in the apartment when McCoy came in. He closed the door behind him and dropped a huge duffel bag to the floor with a heavy thump. He was peering into the room when Jim came at him from the side, tackling him in a tight bear hug.  
McCoy smiled and hugged him back, then pulled away to look into his eyes. Jim was smiling, but McCoy could see that his smile hid a nervous anxiety.  
"I thought maybe you weren’t coming back."  
"Jim, were you sitting here in the dark waiting for me?"  
"Maybe."  
"That's… disturbing."  
"Hey, at least I wasn't crying."  
"Uh huh. When were you gonna start?"  
"Probably in about 10 minutes."  
"I'm not going anywhere. In fact, I thought I might stay for a while." He gestured at the duffel. "If you don't mind."  
Jim hugged him again, putting his chin over McCoy's shoulder and squeezing him tight.  
"Jim, are you crying?"  
"Only a little." He sniffed.  
"Dork."  
They hugged for a long time in the darkness before Jim broke the silence. “Bones. About the play.”  
McCoy squeezed him tighter. “Let’s not talk about it right now, okay?”  
“Okay.” He pressed his chin into McCoy’s shoulder. “I just wanted to say, maybe you could come with me. On the tour.”  
“Jim…”  
“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t talk about it.” He kissed McCoy lightly on the neck. “So… do you think you can do therapy over the phone?”  
“Jim!”  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He finally pulled away. “Let’s go to bed.”  
“Have you had dinner?”  
“No. Let’s eat dinner in bed.”  
“Jim, how are we gonna eat dinner in bed?”  
“We’ll get delivery, come on.” He grabbed McCoy’s hand and tugged him toward the bedroom.  
“How are we gonna get the food when it comes?”  
“We’ll leave the door unlocked.”  
“No we won’t.”  
“Fine. You can get up and get it.”  
“Fine.”  
“I love you.”  
“You love me, or you love dinner in bed?”  
“Yep!”

* * *

Jim was sitting the kitchen when McCoy walked in. His arms were crossed and he was frowning intently at the table.  
“This looks ominous.”  
“We have to talk about this.”  
McCoy pulled out a chair and sat down next to him. “I know.”  
“I did tell you I was going to audition.”  
“Yeah. But Jim, you also told me you were going to apply to the police academy.”  
“You told me that was dangerous! “  
“It is!”  
“So I didn’t do it! For you! Thank you, by the way, ‘cause I’m really not into guns. Or, ya know, the law.”  
“Yeah, no problem.”  
“So this is the alternative, okay? Are you going to tell me being in a play is dangerous?”  
McCoy ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I don’t know, Jim.”  
“Well, I do know. I know exactly what’s not dangerous. Staying in my job, spending the rest of my life typing boring-ass numbers into Excel, and bitching about it every night. Is that what you want for me?”  
“Well…”  
Jim squinted at him in disbelief. “You’re a terrible therapist.”  
“Jim!”  
“I’m sorry, but aren’t you supposed to tell me to follow my dreams?”  
“Are you kidding me? Since when is this your dream? Since I gave you the idea? You never gave a shit about acting before I came along!”  
“I didn’t give a shit about much, until you came along, Bones.” They held each other’s gaze for a moment. “And anyway, yeah, you are the one who told me to be in a play. Now you're suffering the consequences of your own advice!"  
“Yes, I do realize the irony of the situation.” Bones put his face in his hands.  
Jim looked sullen. “Okay, the dream thing might have been a bit of an exaggeration. But so what? And anyway, what if it was my dream? Would that suddenly make you support me in this? All you care about is that I stay here, even if I hate what I do every day.” He raised a finger. “Not every night, mind you.”  
“Jesus Jim, can’t you stop trying to be funny for a minute, we’re in the middle of a fight here.”  
“We are?”  
McCoy looked at him like it was obvious. “Um, yeah. I’m yelling, you’re yelling.”  
“Bones, I don’t want to fight with you.”  
“Then don’t take the part.”  
“Oh is that the alternative? Okay, then I guess I do want to fight with you.”  
McCoy stood up and walked out of the room.  
Jim called after him. “Where are you going? You gonna storm out again?”  
McCoy stuck his head back in the kitchen. “I’m not the one leaving.” He turned away again.  
“I’m taking the part, Bones.”  
McCoy didn’t turn around. “I know.”

* * *

Jim wandered out of the bedroom when he heard McCoy come in late.  
“There’s mac and cheese for you in the fridge.”  
“I’m not hungry.”  
“Who’s always lecturing me about eating a good meal?”  
“I have no appetite.”  
“Don’t be so melodramatic, Bones.” He pulled out a tupperware and stuck it in the microwave.  
“I can’t fucking believe you’re leaving tomorrow.”  
“I know.”  
“How was your last day?”  
“Boring. They threw me a party.”  
“A boring party?”  
“Yeah. Terrible cake.”  
“That’s the worst.”  
“I know. Where’ve you been, anyway?”  
“The therapist.”  
“Ah. That would explain the cloud of whiskey fumes surrounding you.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Did you have a nice talk with Scotty?”  
Bones looked at him with tired eyes. “He said I should quit my job and go with you on your tour.”  
“Really? Awesome! Well, Scotty knows best, I always say.” Jim whistled as he pulled the container out of the microwave.  
“Then I asked him how much you paid him to tell me that, and he said two hundred dollars.”  
“What?! I paid that sonofabitch three hundred!”  
“I know.” He handed Jim a hundred dollar bill. “He says to give this back to you for telling me.”  
“Oh. Wow. He’s got some integrity, that Scotty.”  
“I know. Disgusting, isn’t it?”  
“Seriously. Sets a terrible standard for the rest of us.”  
"How did you know I’d ask him for advice?”  
"Because you don't trust yourself when it comes to making decisions about me."  
Bones was quiet for a moment. "Have I ever told you that you should be a therapist?"  
"No. But I do have wonderful insight."  
Bones sighed. "Yeah, well, unfortunately you're right. But paying off the only unbiased party isn't really the way to go about solving that problem."  
"Scotty was hardly unbiased. He loves me. The money was really just to ease his conscience. After all, if you go with me, he'd lose your business."  
"Jim, don't go."  
"Bones, stop.”  
“It’s not fair. I’ve barely wrapped my mind around being with you, and now you’re leaving.”  
“Well, yeah. It may take a little while longer for you to fully comprehend exactly what you’ve gotten yourself into. Maybe you need a break from me after all.”  
“I don’t.”  
"Then come with me."  
“I can’t just leave my practice, Jim. I have patients that depend on me.”  
“I depend on you!”  
“No, you don’t.”  
“I do.”  
“It’s not the same, and you know it.”  
“Why, ‘cause I’m not crazy?”  
“That’s debatable.”  
“I understand that you can’t leave. But you can’t ask me not to do this.”  
“I know, Jim. I just wish you had thought about me before you made this decision.”  
“That’s the thing, Bones, I did think about you before I made this decision! When you said you were gonna quit your job the other day, I thought that was my chance. Then, you know, we had the sex. Which was awesome. Then I just thought everything was so perfect and I loved you so much and I just thought, this is what I should do, I should do this, and then my life really will be everything I want it to be.”  
McCoy was silent for a moment. “Damn. When you put it like that, it’s almost inspiring.”  
Jim climbed onto McCoy’s lap, straddling him. He wrapped his hands around the back of McCoy’s head and kissed away any forthcoming complaints regarding chair stability or weight distribution. When he pulled back he looked McCoy in the eye.  
“Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is for me to do this? To leave everything I’ve ever known in my adult life? To leave my white shirts and my paperclip zoo and my Ikea furniture? And most especially to leave behind the finest piece of ass in Riverside, knowing that there is a very real possibility that he’ll go completely insane without me there to administer nightly sex therapy?”  
“I don’t know Jim. You haven’t really seemed that torn up about it.”  
Jim leaned forward and brushed his lips over McCoy’s ear. “That’s because I’m an actor.”

* * *

“Jim?”  
“Mmmf.”  
“I’m heading out.”  
“Wha? Bones…” Jim looked at him blearily. “You know I’m leaving today. This is how you’re saying goodbye?”  
“I just…I can’t do the whole big goodbye thing. I can’t deal with that right now.”  
Jim hugged a pillow tightly to his chest and looked away. “I don’t think having cereal together counts as a big goodbye.”  
Bones hugged Jim as tightly as he good from his awkward half-sitting position on the bed. “I love you. Be safe, okay? Call me.”  
Jim couldn’t meet his eyes. “Not even shower sex?”  
“Sorry.”  
Jim nodded and pressed his face into the pillow so he wouldn’t have to see McCoy walk out the door.

** *

McCoy launched himself across the room and over the couch when he heard the phone ring. He answered breathlessly.  
“Jim?”  
“Hey Bones.”  
“I’m sorry. About this morning.”  
“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I miss you so much. Bones, I don’t know if I can do this without you. I know I’m the one that left, but I just want you to know that I really love you and I feel like shit for putting you through this.”  
“Jesus Jim. It’s freaking me out to hear you sound so serious.”  
“Yeah, well. It’s freaking me out, too. Don’t make me do it again.”  
“Look, Jim, I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have tried to guilt you into staying. I just didn’t want you to leave. I love you. I’m pretty sure it’s not healthy how much I love you. But, I’m so proud of you for doing this. You did the right thing by going. Just…promise you’ll come back to me.”  
“Bones. I swear I’ll come back there right now if you say one more sappy word to me.”  
“I love you.”  
“I’m getting on a plane right now.”  
“And don’t go so long without calling me ever again.”  
“Really? It’s been, like, twelve hours.”  
“Exactly.”  
“I miss you. My heart hurts.”  
“Take some aspirin.”  
“Shut up.”  
“Where are you?”  
“Cleveland.”  
“How is it?”  
“Boring. How’s my place?”  
“Cleaner.”  
“You cleaned?”  
“I clean when I’m miserable.”  
“Or drunk.”  
“Yeah, that too.”  
“So, you think I did the right thing?”  
“Of course.”  
“Remember…I was just taking your advice…as a therapist.”  
“And you may legitimately be the first person to have ever done so.”  
“Shut up. I’m sure that’s not true. Is it true?”  
“Who knows.”  
“I miss you, Bones.”  
“I miss you, too.”

* * *

“Hello?”  
“Bones, Bones!! What are you wearing?”  
“Uh, hi Jim?”  
“Come on, it’s intermission, I’ve got fifteen minutes!”  
“Jim, what the fuck? Where are you calling me from?”  
“I’m in the bathroom backstage. Are you on the couch?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Is the lube under the couch?”  
“Obviously.”  
“Horny bastard. Take your clothes off.”  
“No way.”  
“Bones, come on. I’ll make it worth your while, I swear!”  
“Ugh, fine. Hold on.” Jim heard rustling as Bones pulled his shirt over his head. He heard the sound of a zipper and then Bones was back on, breathless.  
“Did you hold the phone next to your zipper so I could hear it?”  
“Yup.”  
“That is so hot.”  
“I got moves.”  
“So, tell me exactly what you look like right now.”  
“I look amazing.”  
“Gaaaaah! I know, I know, come on, give me details!”  
“Fine. I’m laying on the couch, wearing nothing but my black boxers. The ones you like. And my socks.”  
“Your socks?”  
“Too lazy to take them off.”  
“What’s your hair like?”  
“It’s a mess. I need a haircut.”  
“Gaaaaah! You’re killing me here. What else?”  
“What else? Jim, there’s nothing… oh yeah, I forgot to mention, my chest is all greased up. And I’m very tan.”  
“You got a tan? In Iowa?”  
“Jim is this phone sex or a discussion of the realities of romance novel cover shots? It’s a little unclear.”  
“Ha. Okay, okay. Tell me what you want to do to me.”  
“Um… Jim, you know I hate saying that kind of stuff.”  
“You are a fucking liar, you pervy bastard. Come on Bones, just say something hot that you would be doing to me right now. If I were there.”  
“If you were here?”  
“Yeah.” He sounded breathless already.  
“If you were here, I’d start kissing you…”  
“Bones, hey, um, that’s awesome, but seriously, I’ve got like fifteen minutes here – no, twelve minutes! You’re gonna have to start a little lower.”  
“Ugh, fine. I’m ripping your pants off and pushing you down on the couch.”  
“Now we’re talkin’.”  
“Now I’m kneeling down in front of you and licking your fucking huge cock.”  
“So true.”  
“Now I’m swirling my tongue around the tip, just the way you like it.”  
Jim whimpered a little.  
“Now I’m taking my other hand and playing with your balls a little.”  
“Still licking?”  
“Still licking. Now I’m kissing the tip of your cock and I’m going to slide it into my mouth… oh shit, hold on, the phone rang, I gotta go get it.”  
“AHHHHH! You fucking tease! I hate you! Stop laughing!”  
“Okay, okay, I’m back. Wrong number.”  
“You’d better make up for that.”  
“Okay, now I’m taking your cock into my mouth, licking you, now I’m starting to suck and I’m looking up at you.”  
“Oh God.”  
“Now I’m wrapping one hand around your dick and squeezing, and with the other hand I’m kinda… you know, playing with your ass and touching you and kinda pressing into you a little.”  
“Shit.” McCoy heard the phone clatter to the floor.  
“Jim?”  
“Sorry. Dropped the phone.”  
“Put it on speaker.”  
“Bones! You can’t have phone sex on speaker.”  
“Sure you can. Speakerphone sex. I do it all the time in my office.”  
“You do not.”  
“Yeah, you’re right. Unexplored possibilities though.”  
“You’re a terrible therapist.”  
“That’s it baby, talk dirty to me.”  
“Can we go back to the sucking and the touching?”  
“Is this really turning you on, Jim?”  
“It is really, seriously, legitimately turning me on. I am so fucking hard right now. I’m looking at my throbbing hard cock and imagining your mouth wrapped around it. I’m imagining grabbing a fistful of your hair and fucking your mouth.”  
“Jesus.”  
“Are you touching yourself right now?”  
“Uh huh.”  
“Stroking or squeezing?”  
“Both. And twisting. Can you keep talking please?”  
“Wow, I honestly never thought I’d hear that sentence come out of your mouth.”  
“Jim, if you’re going to say come and mouth in the same sentence, I’d think you could make it a little sexier.”  
“Alright, alright. Where was I?”  
“Fucking my mouth.”  
“Fuuuuuuuuck.”  
“Now I’m sliding my finger into my ass.”  
“Don’t you mean my ass?”  
“No, I’m telling you what I’m doing right now.”  
“Oh my God, I’m …uh…I’m gonna come.”  
“Come for me, baby. I’m right there with you.”  
“Unghhhhh….fuck…fuuuck...”  
McCoy heard the phone hit the tile again as he came hard on his hand, his back arching off the couch. He forgot to breathe for a minute and, as his vision blurred around the edges, he hoped idly that Jim hadn’t actually injured himself. “Jim….you there?”  
“Mmmmnnnngggg.”  
“I know.”  
“I’m laying on the floor.”  
“Yeah? How’s that working out for you?”  
“Kinda cold.”  
“So…I guess it was good for you?”  
“Let’s never have real sex again.”  
“Whoa, I don’t think so!”  
“Okay fine. But this was a very, very close second.”  
“Hey Jim?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Don’t you have a play to be in or something?”  
“Oh right. Oh shit. I came all over my pants. I don’t think the director’s gonna like that.”  
“Jim?”  
“Mm hmm?”  
“Is it really intermission right now?”  
“What do you think?”  
“I think you’re full of shit. It was very convincing though.”  
“And hot?”  
“And ridiculously hot.”

***

"Hey."  
"Hey."  
"Where are you?"  
"In some godforsaken hotel room in Chicago."  
"Chicago? Sounds ritzy."  
"Yeah, real ritzy. I have a roommate, so I can't even have phone sex with you. Ow! He hit me with a pillow."  
"You said that in front of your roommate?"  
"Yeah, so? At least I said I can't have phone sex with you."  
"Is he cute?"  
"I dunno. He's kinda old. Ow! He hit me again."  
"Want me to rough him a up a little bit?"  
"I want you to be here."  
"Jim..."  
"I know, I know. Anyway, how's therapy life? Tell me about the latest nutcase."  
"No one too crazy."  
"Too bad."  
"I know."  
"By the way, my roommate is amused that I'm dating my therapist."  
"Is he?"  
"Yeah, he thinks it's fucking hysterical. He says you're not doing a good job."  
"Tell him I know."  
"Shush."  
"So how was the show last night?"  
"It was great. Had to avoid the groupies afterward though.”  
“Yeah right.”  
“I’m serious. There were a ton of chicks outside the backstage door.”  
“Jim, you’re in a play, not a rock band.”  
“You have no idea, Bones. They go crazy over my…diction.”  
“Mmm, sounds familiar.”  
“Or maybe it’s my blue eyes… Miss me?”  
“You’re killing me here.”  
“You need to come protect me from these girls. I’m sure some of them could use therapy. You could be my road therapist.”  
“I’m not going to be your road therapist.”  
“Fine. My masseuse then.”  
“Dream on.”  
“What are you wearing?”  
“I’m not answering that.”  
“Are you naked? Ow! He hit me again.”  
“You deserved it. Now get off the phone and go to sleep. You need your beauty rest.”  
“Do not.”  
“I can hear you yawning. Go to sleep.”  
“Sing me a lullaby.”  
“No.”  
“I don’t want to get off the phone with you.”  
“How ‘bout I hang up on you?”  
“You couldn’t.”  
“Unfortunately, you’re probably right. Come on, I need to sleep too.”  
“Okay, fine. Have a good day tomorrow.”  
“You too.”  
“Be a good therapist.”  
“Be a good actor.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, too.”

* * *

“Hey cutie pants!”  
“Hi Jim.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“What? Oh, nothing. Kind of a shitty day, that’s all.”  
“Why, what happened?”  
“I came home and my boyfriend wasn’t here.”  
“Awww. That must be terrible.”  
“It is. But I guess I’ll just have to get used to it. Someday he’s gonna be a big movie star so I’ll just have to tend the house while he’s off filming on location…”  
“Nope. He’s gonna drag you with him, everywhere.”  
“Everywhere?”  
“Yep.”  
“But what about the phone sex?”  
“We can still have phone sex when I get back, I promise.”  
“How’s the play going?”  
“It’s going well.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. Good reviews, full audiences. I’m not even bored!”  
“Wow. So I guess there’s no chance that people will stop buying tickets…the tour bus will break down…you’ll get run out of town and have to come back home…”  
“Bones. Stop moping.”  
“I know. It’s just so fucking long, Jim.”  
“Are we talking about my dick again?”  
“Okay, you know what, never mind.”  
“Bones, come on. I’m sorry. I miss you too.”  
“It’s more than that, though.”  
“I know. It feels like you can’t function without me. Like part of your brain is missing. The hot part.”  
“The annoying part. You do realize that’s, like, the textbook definition of co-dependency, by the way.”  
“Baby, I love it when you talk therapy.”

* * *

“Doctor, there’s a patient waiting in your office?”  
“Dammit, I thought I scheduled an hour for lunch!”  
“You did. It’s an emergency.”  
McCoy walked into his office, closing the door behind him. Jim was sitting on the couch, grinning, his leg bouncing impatiently. He jumped up and threw himself into McCoy’s arms. They held each other tightly for a long moment.  
“Jesus, Jim,” he said gruffly, shock and joy surging through him.  
“I missed you,” Jim said in his ear. “Did you know that?”  
“Yeah I knew that. You told me every single night.”  
Jim squeezed him tighter.  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I had a break.”  
“How long?”  
“Two days.”  
McCoy pulled himself away long enough to hit the intercom. “Christine, cancel my patients for this afternoon and tomorrow.”  
“Already done, Doctor.”  
“And you can take the day off.”  
“I’m on my way out the door.”  
McCoy turned back to Jim and they fell into each other’s arms again, kissing frantically. McCoy pushed Jim backwards until the back of his knees hit the couch. Jim pulled McCoy down with him.  
“Really, Bones? Sex on the couch?”  
McCoy answered by reaching down to unzip Jim’s jeans, then his own pants, and took hold of Jim’s cock while he moved desperately against him. Jim reached down to stroke him and it was only moments before they were both coming in a sweaty, messy climax.  
They pulled back, panting, to look at each other, and they couldn’t help but laugh at their own eagerness and need.  
“God, Jim. You have no idea.”  
“Yes, I do.”  
“It’s fucking embarrassing how much I want you.”  
Jim grinned.  
“God, I love that smile.” McCoy pulled himself up off the couch, pulled his shirt off. His pants were still undone and his hair was deliciously mussed. “I have a present for you.”  
Jim pushed himself up on his elbows, an eyebrow raised.  
McCoy walked over and pulled something from under the desk. It was a large cardboard box, and it was empty.  
“Wow, Bones. That’s real thoughtful. A whole cardboard box, just for me,” Jim drawled.  
McCoy put the box on the desk, picked up a stack of books, and put it in the box. Jim sat up all the way. “Bones…”  
“I’m not quitting. I’m just taking a sabbatical. I want to go with you for the rest of your tour.”  
“Bones, I…I don’t know what to say.”  
“Say, ‘I promise you will never have to live another month without me’.”  
Jim went over to him, put his arms around McCoy’s shoulders and held him tightly. “Never.”  
“You’re the person I’ve been waiting for my whole life, Jim.”  
“Are you crying, Bones?”  
“Just a little.”  
“Me, too.”


End file.
